Friday, July 31, 2009

Under Our Skin

It's been a little over a month since I've posted here. Mostly, life has been about the same.

About a month ago, I was experiencing increased nausea from the doxy. So I tried to go to a half-dose but then ended up off of it. I've been off of everything for approximately a month. It was probably mostly selfish reasons - I'd gotten to the point where the number of pills I was taking a day were making me gag. And I wanted to be out in the sun.

I guess it was like a daily reminder that life with Lyme isn't completely normal.

But regardless of the medicine, I'm reminded on a near-daily basis that that is the case.

HEADACHE - the other day I was driving and the thought crossed my mind "i wonder what it feels like to NOT have a headache." It's not a headache like any other, either. It's only on the left side of my skull, though this isn't exclusive. Sometimes it switches sides. Last week, it was just the top part of my skull, all the way around. I could place my hand on the top of my head and it hurt to the touch. I was sitting on the floor of my friend's house playing with her little girl and all of a sudden it felt like you'd driven a nail through the top of my head. I had to go lay down.

But the headache I've had most recently has been on the left side of my skull - shooting pains through my temple in an electric fashion. Sometimes, it takes my breath.

BLURRED VISION - maybe this is part of the headache - I don't know. But my vision has been blurred, like I'm looking through water.

SLEEPLESSNESS - basically, I can't sleep. It takes me FOREVER to fall asleep and when I do, I never want to wake up. My alarm goes off and I just want to sleep more. I wake up feeling as exhausted, if not more, as when I went to bed. Really, I think if given the opportunity, I could sleep for at least a day. Part of me wants to try it. The other part feels guilty.

JOINT PAIN - a couple days last week, I couldn't walk down stairs without intense pain in my left ankle. I had to walk down them sideways to make it. And coming up stairs makes my legs feel like jell-o - so weak.

MEMORY - my short-term memory and parts of my long-term memory are gone. I can't remember where I put things, what I've told people, what I've done just moments after I've done them. I try to hide it around the people I live with but I think my sister notices these little things.

WEAKNESS IN MY RIGHT HAND - it's almost as if I've had a stroke. My right hand is so weak. I've dropped at least three cups of liquid today, and numerous other things. It's frustrating. But hopefully this symptom will pass soon.

BRAIN FOG - enough said.

After all the research I've done, I really think that UNDER OUR SKIN is the best. Please visit for information on the film and information on Lyme Disease. Here is an excerpt from a Lyme patient. It's almost like I wrote this, I can identify with everything he's saying. He's talking about dealing with:

..."the memory loss, the feeling of drunkenness, the disorientation, the arthritis in my hands, feet, shoulders, and knees. The fatigue. The loud ringing in my ears. The terrible sleeplessness. The excruciating discomfort and pressure in my face and head from the sound of my own voice as I spoke. The difficulty and frustration communicating with others, in finding the right words. The exaggerated emotions. The numbness in my feet that would turn to burning pain and pins and needles, the stabbing pains in my legs and feet..."
(the highlighted things are things I have on a daily basis but forget to mention sometimes)

One of my good friends just got out of the hospital after being there for 8 days. She has Lyme Disease. I'll tell more of her story later....

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