I don't like giving my Lyme disease more of a platform then it already has in my life.
But it's not going to keep me silent either.
I'll be honest - living life with this disease sucks sometimes but my life is wonderful. One of my personal philosophies is that everything happens for a reason and while I would like to not be inhibited by this bacteria, my body is host to it and therefore I will live with it, learn about it, combat it, but live my wonderful life.
Today I fought through intense nausea and dizziness to make a nice dinner for my family. Sure, I had to lean heavily against the counter at times, take a break while mixing cookie dough and move a little slower. But I wasn't going to let it steal that moment from me.
That's a part of me it cannot have.
Yes, it can take my breath at times.
Yes, it can redirect my attention from doing the dishes to sitting on the couch for a minute.
Yes, it slows me midstep.
But I keep breathing. I keep walking.
There are only so many things I'm willing to let it have.
I have to know that I have a choice.
Yes, there are afternoons it puts me in bed.
Yes, it has hidden a few memories from my mental view.
But I won't give it the satisfaction of halting me. It can't have me.
I will always fight this thing and its level of control over my life.
I'm not willing to roll over and surrender to it just yet.